"Ring, phone, ring!"

As I mentioned on our most recent post, we have switched over to domestic adoption. This process is very different. Essentially, we wait until a birth mother (or her social worker) contacts our adoption agency and social worker. Once she makes contact, she creates a profile of adoptive parents. Then, the adoption agency matches her profile with the available prospective adoptive parents profiles. She then selects adoptive parents based on the profiles she reviews. The birth mother may chose to meet the prospective adoptive parents or may not.

Regardless of that component of the process, we wait to "get the call" from our social worker that a birth mother is reviewing our profile (among others), a call that our profile is selected,  a call that the birth mother has made an adoption plan, a call that the baby was born, and a call to pick up the baby. We could be a part of the pregnancy, a part of the birth, or just called to pick up the baby. Clearly, the phone is my friend. I check it many, many times a day. 

Now that we have talked about the process, let me tell you how it feels. Remember the first time you interviewed for something big- college, a job, or you met your mate? It kinda feels like that. We have butterflies. Remember after you interviewed and you waited to find out if you "got it"? The anxiety we feel kinda feels like that. Remember when you and your first love broke up? That sense of devastation? When an adoption plan falls through, it can feel like that. 

It is as if our hearts are outside of our bodies.

We can speak of these feelings because we have experienced them. Recently we were presented to a birth mother who selected us as one of two "finalists." The feedback we got was that she really liked us. And, we were told to "be by our phone." And, then we waited. And, waited. And, waited. Hours turned into days which turned into a couple of weeks. We were tense and anxious and excited. And then we learned that she delivered the baby. And, then we learned that she decided to not place the baby. She chose to parent. And, while we are happy that her circumstances changed so that she could parent, we were devastated at the same time. 

So, we go back into the pile and wait for the next go around.

Is that the phone ringing???????