I am committed to providing updates...or should I be committed?

OK, mental health is no laughing matter. So, before anyone emails me about being potentially insensitive, please know that I think our country needs to do more, earlier, and with less stigma than we currently do for those who suffer from mental health problems. I also recognize that some of society ills are caused by our lack of attention to this issue.

With that disclaimer in mind, I have no idea what I was thinking with all of the different activities that I am involved in this fall! Actually, I do..more on that in a second. However, I think I am going to frame it all with the hope that I am just preparing myself for how busy my life will get when our little munchkin or munchkins come home to Matt and I. It has not been lost on me that most bloggers are dedicated to their updates before they bring their little ones home. And, then, like Ohio States hopes of a national championship in football, they are gone. (I AM a Gator, after all).

Seriously, this update is more of a "G and Matt" update rather than an adoption update because THERE IS NOTHING TO REPORT. **sigh** Our only adoption news is that I have begun to work on our lifebook scrapbook. I have contacted family and friends near and far and asked for pictures of Matt and I. Thank you to everyone who has sent us some. We have them printed out and sorted by theme. Next step, actually making the scrapbook. I went to a local craft store and purchased 2 sets of scrapbooks because I couldn't decide which one I liked better. Of course, I brought them home and Matt and I looked at the styles, colors, and inserts to determine which one we liked better. Now, I need to go return the one not selected and purchase "embellishments" and decorative pages. Who knew scrapbooking was so complicated? I know that I am probably making it waaaayyy more difficult than it needs to be, but its a book that represents us. How difficult is THAT?

So, as my mind spins aimlessly about our adoption, I have chosen to distract myself with a ridiculous schedule: full time work, full time student, fall football season, company and traveling and responsibilities at the local university-all of the reasons why I am feeling overwhelmed.

Unlike a biological pregnancy, with an adoption there isn't a clear end in sight. There is no "due date." I recognize that most due dates are not accurate, but generally for a non-premature birth, you kinda know how much time you have to prepare for a child. With an adoption, we can move quickly through the process, as in six-nine months. Or, we can move slowly. There really is no way to know how long the adoption will take until you are in the middle of it. Essentially, it's only when the months tick off the calendar with no referral do you realize just how long the process will take. So, I am not quite sure if and when we are actually supposed to be working on tasks around the house- i.e. painting the nursery, purchasing clothes, toys, books, and furniture, a baby gate for the pool. It kinda feels too early to be doing those things. And, who wants to jinx the process?

So an update on us...

We are still waiting for the contractor to help us with our Tropical Storm Fay damage. Hopefully, one day this week he will be able to get us on his schedule. While our damage was not extensive, we do need to replace a door, fix a ceiling and fix our back porch.

Matt sees the light at the end of the tunnel for his graduate degree. He anticipates finishing his Master's in May (be on the lookout for that post). By the end of December, I will need to make some pretty big decisions about my coursework. I need to decide if I am going to continue the PhD track or switch over to the EdD. track. The difference between the two is significant and may have long term consequences. If I want to pursue an academic career at a research I university, I will need to continue with the PhD. If I want to remain a practitioner or work at a non-research I institution, then an EdD is perfectly acceptable. The difference is in the cost between the two (about $15,000) and the length of time my coursework will take (another 12 months full time or 24 months part time) are factors in my decision. It is something that I am struggling with as I am not sure exactly what I want to do when I grow up. It's the same kind of decision women everywhere face as they seek to find balance between the sometime competing interests of work, homelife, and personal ambitions.

And, really, I know that when our little munchkin or munchkins come home all of this waffling will be moot.

Where have all my elementary school teacher friends gone?

Along the "hurry up and wait" theme for this week...our home study is coming along. Our domestic social worker is working with our international agency to make sure that it is aligned to both the standards required by the US government and the standards required by the Russian government. I really appreciate all the hardwork our social worker has done. Yes, she is paid. But, between all of the interviews and home visits, she has become an important part of the process (there is that word again!).

While we wait for this part of the process to be completed and approved to be submitted to our government for the USCIS (immigration) approval, we have gotten the "go ahead" to work on our life books. Yes, I have been given the task of making scrapbooks! WAHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Ok, really, not so much. I need to construct a scrapbook that tells our story. To my elementary school teacher friends...where are you? Anyone? Ideas? Suggestions?

And this is how adoption goes...

So, week before last was so exciting-we were wrapping up our home study and got our blog started. Then, this week, nothing. For those of you new to the adoption world (as if I am not) I understand this is how it goes: hurry up, hurry up faster (someone needs some document postmarked by 5pm TODAY), turn it in to the appropriate personnel, and then wait. And wait some more. And, when you think you can't possibly wait any longer and you are going to crawl out of your skin- you wait some more. I have learned most about waiting from the other blogs I read.

For my friends and family who know me, I am a very patient person- after all, I spent 12 years working with MIDDLE school students and 2 years working with politicians. What about my professional practice hasn't taught me that my plan and someone else's plan usually doesn't match? Ever try to teach a 7th grader about geography at 10:45 in the morning? Or an 8th grader reading at 7:30 am? Or that a legislator, who "knows" how schools work (s/he attended one, y'know), may not have all the information necessary to make a decision that can affect millions of children and teachers?

But this is so different...

We are so excited to be on this journey, I don't know if I can contain myself. Matt seems to handle it with much more ease than me. Every time Matt and I go out, we look at a child and wonder- is that how old our child will be when we bring him or her home? We wonder if we will be lucky enough to parent one or two children? We wonder if we will have a son or a daughter (that's an easy one to think about- every prospective parent wonders that!)? We look at feet and fingers and toes and chubby fat rolls on legs and wonder if our child is being well taken care of today, right now, at this moment. Then, on some visceral level, we send our thoughts and prayers out to "the universe" that he or she IS being taken care of . (Sorry english teacher friends- I am ending a sentence with a preposition) Our minds wonder to the birth parent(s) and pray that whatever situation they find themselves in, that they find strength, solace, and peace. Invariably, our minds wonder back to our child or children and begin trying to figure out how we can "negotiate time" so that the days until we can be united pass quickly. All this happens in about sixty seconds- Multiple times per day. And, so far, that is how adoption goes...

In the beginning...

Suprise! We are expecting! Not in the traditional "bun in the oven", swollen feet, and midnight cravings kind of way- rather in the traveling to another country, being matched with a precious child or children (more on that later), and dealing with our own and foreign governments to prove that we can provide the safest and most loving home possible for a child or children.

We have been lurking and reading other PAP (prosepctive adoptive parent) blogs for many months now. And, today, we are striking out on our own. We have learned and laughed from all of the families that have gone before us. And, by "us", I mean me, Gillian. My honey bunny (dear husband) reads the highlights ( i.e when PAP meet their child) or lowlights (Vietnam, anyone?), but generally blogging will be my responsibility.

I look forward to sharing our story for our families and friends. Hopefully, laughing along with you so that when we bring home our children, our adoption journey to them will be shared with you- just like a growing belly, doctor appointment news, and maternity clothes might be shared.

Our goal- with all of its ups and downs- will be to chronicle our journey to "when we became three."